bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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