If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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