omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
