First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
