You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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