ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
