I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
