you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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