I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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