pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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