if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
