just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize