So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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