She said her name was "party"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
