I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
