We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
