This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
