Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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