I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
