Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
