so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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