It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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