i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
