dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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