I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
