Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
