too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
