Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
