so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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