Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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