he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
