you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
