would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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