Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
