first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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