last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize