Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
