i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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