At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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