i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
