I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
