Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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