she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
