yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
God, I missed his penis.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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