I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
