I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
