is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
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i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize