i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
