I must be too annoying 4 u.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
