I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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