OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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