I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
