ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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