she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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