Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
