Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
is that a dick in a sweater?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
