What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
