$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
