i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
