It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
